One Wildly Successful Friend

I have one wildly successful friend. I was living in Bridgehampton when we met. She owned a gourmet food store in East Hampton called Barefoot Contessa and Ina Garten, in her hands-on style, worked hard at that store. No food was produced that didn’t pass the fresh, delicious, presentation-perfect, Ina Garten test. She still works hard. Being a celebrity hasn’t changed that one iota.

When my youngest son was getting married and wanted the wedding to be in the Hamptons, Ina and Jeffrey generously offered their garden as the wedding venue. It was exquisite: the pear trees were in bloom, and long, rectangular beds of blossoming white and purple flowers formed the aisle for the wedding party. No bride and groom ever had a more gorgeous setting.

The year after I moved to Connecticut, I spent New Year’s weekend visiting Ina and Jeffrey. Things at the store were madly busy so Ina and I spent New Year’s Eve day making five hundred smoked salmon tea sandwiches to fill an order for some posh party. We talked and laughed and got the job done. 

That evening the three of us went to a gathering and as we came through the door, a waiter approached us with a tray of—you guessed it—smoked salmon sandwiches. Ina and I simultaneously rolled our eyes and almost fell over laughing. Couldn’t he have passed the stuffed mushrooms? I didn’t think I could ever face smoked salmon again.

We had many conversations when Ina decided to sell the store and do “something else.” She had no plan for her future, but she took the risk and let the store go. Then came the really difficult part of the process: allowing for the right new idea to gestate. Learning to trust that it would. Many anxious months later, as we were taking a walk, she told me, “I’m going to write a cookbook.” Ina’s “something else” turned out to be an extraordinary, creative, life’s work.

When Ina asked if we—my children, their spouses and six grandchildren--would be the “demonstration” family for her Family Style cookbook, we all readily agreed. If you have that cookbook, you will see my brood—except for my youngest son who had to be away on business. Those little boys in the pictures have all graduated from college now and have jobs in New York. Looking at that book reminds me of how long we have been friends.

It’s not all that easy to maintain a friendship with a dedicated, much-in-demand person. We have to make a plan months ahead. But when we met last week in New York for lunch, once again, it was as if we had seen each other just the week before. We reconnected immediately, laughing and sharing our news.

By the way, there is no dieting when you have lunch with Ina because unrequested plates of delicious things keep appearing on the table. It’s both fun and fattening! The restaurant wants her to taste all sorts of their delicacies.

If you are a Barefoot Contessa fan: if you think Ina Garten is warm, funny and someone you would like to know, you are right. She is also one of the most interesting and dynamic women I have known in my lifetime—and yes, she is a really good cook as well.

Best of all, celebrity or not, she is my friend. For every one of us, no matter who we are or what we do, it’s the quality of our friendships that makes a difference in our lives.